Mum told me how I used to chew the unthinkable bitter drugs as a kid — one of which is Chloroquine. Also heard of how I really preferred drugs and would scream at the sight of an injection.
Fortunately or unfortunately? Fortunately –Yeah! Fortunately because the thought of me chewing those drugs makes me feel sick. What in heaven’s name was that!
Fortunately, something happened that made me fall in love with injection till date. Wait… What? Did I just say “fall in love”? Nah! Not after the multiple piercings I got about five years ago.
Whoooooooops… Such a long time that can’t be easily forgotten. Talking about it now, I feel I should be more grateful about life. Cos gurrrrrl! I thought I was gonna die and… Wow! I remember I had a blog then and I was thinking of who to pass it on to that’d run it to my satisfaction while I was finally gone. Crazy how I’m letting this out for the first time.
So, I meant to say that made me prefer injection to drugs and not “fall in love with”. I can’t say the exact time I stopped chewing drugs (except novalgin) but I remember the last time I ever cried because of injection.
I was sick that very day and my dad promised to buy me food from “Mr Biggs” if I didn’t cry. How was I not to cry? It seemed impossible at first but there was a motivation — food from my favourite eatery. That was when I started giving myself reasons not to cry. There’s no way I’d convince you that I don’t like food with this but it’s fine. I didn’t cry that day because of food and a prepared mind. And my dad? He sure fulfilled his promise on our way home from the hospital.
Well, that day marked the beginning of me never running from or crying because of injection. This story can be likened to how we sometimes try to run away from the reality of our pain.
Did you just get into trouble?
Or you just lost your savings?
Your partner left you for someone richer?
You just had a carryover?
You’re to wait behind for an extra year while your mates have graduated?
It seems you’re the only single one amidst your friends?
All your friends are balling but you’re beginning to get frustrated finding your feet?
Your account balance looks like a radio station?
You’re beginning to feel like a failure?
Looks like nobody is coming to help you?
Calm down, my love. There’s no need to run from reality, live in denial or swim in regret. You need to face that phase. If you drink yourself to stupor to avoid thinking about it, you’ll still come back to it after your hangover.
I understand it’s painful and I’m not in your shoes but the pain hurts less when you go through it with a prepared mind. Prepared mind like giving yourself reasons it shouldn’t break you. Prepared mind like asking God for strength when you don’t understand how to handle it.
You might not have anyone promising to buy you food from your favourite eatery as your motivation but you can be your own motivator. What are you gifting yourself after you successfully come out of that phase? Write it down and watch yourself go through it with a cutout of the initial stress.
Always remember, what you do with your pain today will matter tomorrow. It’s either you allow it break you or you turn it to a weapon of healing for others –others who might find themselves in that situation tomorrow and come to you for help.
