Hawk Your Load, It’s Yours

One of my “people sometimes project their fears ” moments was during NYSC. We were talking and this colleague accused me of always listening to other people’s opinion before giving my opinion. So, yeah! Some people have an issue with “listening ears” that’s supposed to be a good attribute.

The first few seconds was a “nibo la ja si (this road is shaky)” moment before I found my voice. I told her to repete and explanate cos it couldn’t be my ears playing games. She said I’d observe the conversation, say mine after few people have spoken and my opinion most times looked like a final verdict that led to most people being in agreement or commencement of two different opinion that’ll then lead to a debate.

Eweeeee! Whatever that meant in her head, I read it as something Prof. Amore would be proud of. A boss of conversation kinda thingy! Tori what kind of projection of insecurity be that one na? Hawk your load, it’s yours — don’t project your insecurity on me. The fact that it wasn’t even true — cos there are times I give my opinion first when I understand the root of the conversation. Should I just open my mouth without understanding the root of a conversation? Conversation that can sometimes be a trap. Sometimes, I don’t even talk at all. I’m a linguist and my lecturers didn’t teach us to just open our mouth “waaaaaaaaa”.

The part where I said conversation can sometimes be a trap. Yeah, some people just want to hold your word against you. Some already know what they’ll do, they’ll just seek your opinion to validate what they have in mind or throw it away if it’s otherwise.

So, yeah! The other day, I said everyone deserves a friend who has a listening ear. It’s a good attribute but you have to understand the imbalance of life. A person’s criticism can sometimes be their projection at work, not necessarily you doing something bad. That’s why you should always sieve feedback, don’t just drink it all. At the end of the day, humans are insatiable — you fit just kpai yourself if you try to satisfy everyone.

Till I’m back to stir the drink, stay safe!