When talking about people opening up, there’s an aspect we sometimes fail to address. The aspect of opening up that has left a scar of keeping quiet on few who have tried to open up in the past — from spreading their wings to crawling into their shell. They opened up to people but were served the breakfast of distancing after.
It’s one of those things I’m still trying to understand after my twenty something years on earth. Someone confided in you but your next step is to keep your distance.
That’s how someone posted on Twitter the other day and the comment section was giving me headache. Her friend reached out to talk to her but she used “talk to God first” as an excuse to avoid the conversation. Then, the comments went “you just avoided billing”.
That was when I understood it. So, most of the people who keep their distance after people open up to them are actually trying to avoid billing? How the heck did we get here?
It’s one thing to avoid someone because every conversation with them leads to billing but it’s totally a different thing when you avoid someone because they told you of their financial struggles. There’s a difference between the two. And no one is putting a knife to your neck to drop money. It could even be mental, career, marital, motherhood, spiritual or physical struggle. If you have to interpret everything as stylish billing, then you need help.
Some people just need someone to listen. Some people need reassurance that everything will be fine. Some need a shoulder to lean on and just vent. Some need a reminder that they’re not alone. Some need someone around to make them feel they’re not useless. Not everyone is asking for money, so rest.
When we now hear of suicide tomorrow, everyone goes “(s)he should have spoken”. Hollup! Hollup! Would you have listened? Wouldn’t you have interpreted his/her mental health struggles as a stylish way of billing you? Wouldn’t you have avoided their calls because it’s been a while you both talked and you’re unsure of the reason behind the call?
The next time you see a message or call from an old friend/colleague/family member, remember this post. It might even be an emergency. I can bet you’ll have a hard time forgiving yourself if you hear of the demise of someone you ignored their calls few hours ago.
I didn’t come to chastise but we can all do better. Common! We can do better. Try to hear people out first without concluding they’re here to bill you.
Till I’m back to stir the drink, stay gbam!
I’ll always give audience no matter what. If it now leads to billing or inconvenience, I’ll speak out. It’s beyond my power or find a way to assist if I can.
As it should be 💯.