I’ve talked about forgiveness here before — why it shouldn’t be forced. I once talked about forgiveness on my YouTube channel — how it’s sometimes the cure to your healing.
…but I’m yet to talk about the illegal attachment to forgiveness — Re-entry.
Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean people getting VIP pass back into your life.
Don’t let anyone guilt trip you into accepting them back into your life when you don’t want to. You can forgive someone and still keep your distance. Statements like “If you’ve truly forgiven me, then let’s still be friends”, “If you’ve forgiven me, let’s get back together”, “If you know you’ve forgiven me, then you have to eat my food” don’t deserve a breathing space, other than the trashcan. The kind that’d warrant you to scream “Bota joor! (Outttttt!)”.
Don’t get me wrong — I’m not saying you shouldn’t be friends with people after you forgive them, but there are situations that might require space for a while, or sometimes a forever boundary setting.
Your mental health is important! If being around a person makes you uncomfortable or affects your well being, it’s okay to keep your distance. In fact, healing sometimes requires space and time away from the person who hurt you.
Even in my faith, I’m taught to flee from every appearance of evil. Then, why get tied down to toxic relationships or situations?
So, I ask you: When are you leaving? Why are you still stuck in proving forgiveness? Sometimes, taking a step back is necessary for proper healing and growth.
“Forgiveness is about releasing the negative emotions associated with hurtful experience” — not forcefully staying with the person who hurt you. So, remember to prioritize your mental health, set boundaries and take care of yourself.
Till I’m back to stir the drink, stay gbam!
I still believe human beings don’t absolutely change. I accepted a friend of mine that stole my money to bet back and he did exactly the same thing again.
Yorubas say “ki n tan lara Oba, ko ma ku dansaki”. Humans ehnnnnn… some people are best kept at arms length after forgiving them.
It’s great to forgive but it’s unsafe to assume people actually change. Change is constant, that goes without saying but you don’t have to find out.
“…but you don’t have to find out” 📌
Trying to find out is a really big risk. Big risk that could leave an imprint of trust issue on one.