Recently, I told my mum how we used to spit into drinking bottles of wicked seniors in secondary school and my mum shouted “Ese amoomoda (intentional sin)!”.
Of course, it was an intentional sin. Nothing like “It’s the work of the devil” or “I’m just a child”. This one no be child’s play. Me and other guilty people did it in full awareness. It was negative reaction birthed out of pain — a very below the belt nonsense. Yes, learn to own up to your shits with your full chest. It’s not everytime you’d be dumping it on devil. I wonder why the devil never tells people to put their hand into fire though — it’s after getting caught in the act of stealing that devil takes the blame.
When you leave pain unattended to, it’s usually a disaster. You might end up doing things you won’t be proud of in future. Most negative things people do is usually the smoke from pain they’re yet to heal from.
An example is the case of an abused growing up to be an abuser. A victim of sexual molestation growing up to do worse to people. Let’s call it what it is — trauma that left a huge footprint of destruction.
You’re aware you’re doing it but you can’t stop because you feel fulfilled doing it, you can’t stop because not doing it feels like you’re not breathing. Pain, trauma, PTSD — a pathway to destruction if left unattended to.
How then do you attend to your hurt? The pain, trauma, PTSD? Don’t delay the reaction. Now, don’t get it wrong — some people normally would react late. During one of the episodes of Mind Splash on Mheerah-dee Drops, I once talked about “Delayed Reaction” as a mental health disorder for some people. So, even if you normally would react late, don’t suppress the reaction when it comes. Just learn to react without it leading to sin.
Have you ever wondered why it’s the people who react immediately who often have the most soft spot? They get angry easily, they’ll tell you how you wronged them but behind all their “were la fin wo were (we cure madness with madness)” attitude is forgiveness. So, let it out my dear.
People who practice religion without using their Holy Book as template will not like this one, but I’ll still say it. Have you ever wondered why it’s mostly religious people you’d see exercising bitterness that you’d start to question what they practice? It’s because most of them suppress their anger — they don’t want their alfa, pastor or traditional leader to see them get angry. I still don’t understand how we got here — seeing not getting angry as the definition of being holy. Even the Bible says “be ye angry but sinneth not” — which means it’s human to get angry, don’t just let it overcome you that it’ll lead to sin.
Someone does something that hurt you but you smile at them and then, get to your room to do something else. You’re reading “tabatiada (not sure I got the spelling) for them as a Muslim, you’re reading Psalm 35 for them as a Christian, you’re invoking their spirit into a structure as a traditionalist — all for something that could have been partly settled by expressing your anger.
Stop suppressing the anger, my love. By the time you’re done piling it up, it might give birth to something evil. Before you know it, you’re religious but you’re already dragging award for wickedness with the devil you once rebuked. An example is Boko Haram.
Freaking own up to your feelings! You’re angry? Yes, you are. You’re human — so, it’s expected. One thing I’ve learnt to do when angry is to talk about it. I discovered letting it out makes me feel better. Not necessarily with the person who got me angry — it can just be a trusted friend.
So, when next you want to hold people in your mind — remember you don’t want to end up a bait in the hands of pain. No one has the right to live in your head rent-free. You’re the one who’d wake up thinking about it, when they’re probably sleeping peacefully in their own house. Let it out, don’t suppress it.
Till I’m back to stir the drink, stay gbam!
