You’re a boy

A piece from 2020 that’s so dear to my heart. It has been an opener for the process of healing for so many men.
Just as I promised few weeks ago, I brought it back to your screen. And to my men, I see you!

AT FIVE,
I fell
It wasn’t a dive
For down the stairs I fell

I cried
But shots I got
In insult, I got fried
With voices at me like gunshot

‘You’re a boy’
Came the voice from majority
And right there
I lost the ability to show pain

AT TEN,
My lesson teacher made me do things
Things meant for men
With threats amidst her grins

I was abused
And forced to watch porn
Unable to tell anyone I was being used
For fear of being shun

At last, courage I gathered
Big cousin, I gave the hint
But he said words that made me shattered
“You’re a boy! Enjoy it!”

And yeah!
I ended up enjoying it
Around girls, I was here and there
I then became a sex addict

AT FIFTEEN,
The only girl I ever loved
Dark skinned Bimpe was thirteen
I had found out Dave was who she loved

Bimpe broke my heart
When I thought she was my forever
I didn’t know I was her cart
And being hers was a never

I refused to eat
My friends rained me insults
‘You be guy na’, came the regular beat
It was still the regular results

And right there
It started then and there
I lost the ability to show feelings
How I became Mike the hard guy without feelings

AT THIRTY,
Here I am with my fiancee
She said I make her feel like a potty
And I’m short of words with nothing to say

To call it off, her intention
A sex machine, she said I used her as
For that was the only time I gave her attention
She said I’m meant to be named heartless

I love her
But she said I’ve never made her feel it
How would I explain to her?
Should I tell her the ‘You’re a boy’ caused it?